Surrender: The Real Flex
Things I used to think of when I would hear the word “surrender”:
-giving up
-weakness
-having no other choice
-relinquishing personal power
-what religious people do
The idea of surrender often conflicts with what society has conditioned us to believe: control + comfort = the biggest flex. It also goes against our ingrained patterns of wanting to have it all figured out. For some of us, a run-in with the S word looks like hitting a massive metaphorical wall and having no choice but to accept what life is handing us. Like it’s a dreaded Plan B (or more like Z) and the self-imposed implication is that we have “given up.”
The Sanskrit term for surrender is Ishvara Pranidhana, meaning “surrender or devotion to the Divine.” It’s not about practicing mindfulness, but heartfulness: the act of setting aside ego and opening up to something bigger than ourselves. When we choose to not live solely from fear or attachment, we are actually displaying a superior kind of strength. A type of strength that says: “I can be with what is, no matter what it is.”
3 ways to practice Surrender in your daily life:
1. Build Tolerance for Discomfort. Forms of uncertainty or loss can cause us pain and discomfort. Avoiding discomfort at all costs de-conditions us and is a disservice to a path of resilience and growth. Allow yourself to feel and be with the discomfort, without judging, running or numbing. Be patient — this is a process.
2. Release Attachments. Expectations, outcomes, identities, and preferences are all webs we weave to attempt to control and micromanage life. When we can’t see past these webs, we set ourselves up for believing that we need life to be a certain way in order to handle it. Practice loosening your grip on these things — start small and build up.
3. Befriend Reality. Tall order? Hear me out… things are going to unfold the way they are, no matter how hard you resist. A wise use of energy would be facing this head on and taking responsibility for how you respond to it because that is the only thing you CAN control. The real flex? Going with the flow.
